Managing stress in an emergency
If you or someone you know has been through a traumatic event, you may be feeling stressed or anxious. While there may be no simple fixes to make things better right away, there are some ways you can look after your wellbeing immediately after an emergency event.
Stress after an emergency event
If you have been affected by an emergency event, you may experience some kind of emotional reaction. Everyone can have a different experience, but all responses are 'normal' reactions to an 'abnormal' situation.
You might be experiencing these feelings for the first time — you may feel:
- shock
- fear
- anger
- sadness
- shame.
These feelings can be overwhelming. It is normal for people to react in ways they did not expect.
Emergencies, shocks or traumatic events can have a big impact on our feelings, thoughts, behaviours and our physical body.
You may have strong feelings right away. Or you may not notice a change until later, after the crisis is over. It can take much longer to recover our wellbeing especially if we have ongoing stress related to the emergency or disaster.
Stress can affect your interactions with others
Stress can change how you interact with your friends and whānau.
It is common to feel you need to be alone and to withdraw from the people around you. You might feel disconnected or believe that no one understands what you have been through.
It is important to recognise this is due to the stress and to find ways to remain connected to those closest to you and who you rely on for support. Many people have felt this way and have found a path forward — and you can too.
How you can look after yourself and others
When an emergency or traumatic event disrupts your life, there are ways you can look after yourself, your whānau and your community.
There is no simple fix to make things better right away. It will take time for you to feel better and to adapt to changed circumstances. Remember that how you are feeling is a normal reaction and it will pass — give yourself time to heal and to process thoughts and feelings.
Here are some ways to look after your wellbeing immediately after an emergency event.
- Follow your usual routine as much as possible — such as going to work or school, mealtimes and bedtimes.
- Try to get some exercise every day. Even a short walk or a dance party in the kitchen can make a big difference.
- Limit the amount of news you watch or read about the event you have experienced.
- Spend time in places that feel safe and comfortable, as much as possible.
- Stay in touch with your usual supports — whānau, friends, workmates — and talk about how you and they feel. Offering support to others can be an important part of recovery.
Friends and whānau are our most common sources of support so it is important to look after ourselves and others — we might be someone else’s key support person.
More information on ways you can look after your wellbeing is at All Right? and All Sorts.
All Right? — Mental Health Foundation and Health New Zealand Waitaha Canterbury
Supporting tamariki (children)
Tamariki react to emergency events differently to adults. They may:
- start to act younger than their age
- throw tantrums more than usual
- want to be close to their parents or caregivers all of the time
- withdraw from doing things they usually like or from playing with other children.
It is common for tamariki to feel tired because they are having trouble sleeping or bad dreams. They may also say they have a sore tummy or headaches.
You may see how children are feeling about a traumatic event in the way they play or through their drawings.
Not all children feel or show symptoms of distress, and that is okay.
What works best for tamariki
As parents and caregivers, you know what works best. It is important you talk with your tamariki and let them know the emergency event is over, and they are safe. Talk about:
- what has happened
- how they are feeling
- that it is okay to feel scared, worried and sad
- how other tamariki will feel the same.
It is good for them to keep talking to you about their feelings — one day, they will start to feel better.
Be a source of truth
Answer questions from your tamariki truthfully, in a way they understand. This encourages them to ask you again if they have things they do not understand
Do not dwell unnecessarily on frightening details or relive them constantly. Once you have answered their questions, you can suggest doing something fun or distracting, to help them move on from any unhelpful patterns of thinking.
Let them know they can always talk to you if they have other questions.
Hugs, keeping consistent routines as much as possible, sharing kai can all be useful, soothing actions for young ones.
Behaviours that signal your tamaiti (child) may need help
After an emergency event, be alert for signs your tamaiti may need further help. Signs include ongoing or persistent:
- withdrawal
- aggression
- difficulties at school
- distress when separated from parents
- problems going to sleep
- bedwetting.
More ways you can look after your tamariki is at All Right?
When you need more support
If your distress or stress levels are increasing over the days and weeks following the event, or you feel you are not coping, early help and professional support is important.
Sometimes it is hard to tell when you need this support.
It is reasonable to feel some things but — if you find them persistent or hard to cope with — seek help when:
- your sleep is badly affected
- you feel very distressed, irritable, on edge or agitated much of the time
- you feel hopeless, despairing, miserable or that you cannot go on
- you have trouble concentrating, are distracted, feel overwhelmed most of the time and cannot do your usual tasks
- you have recurrent nightmares or intrusive thoughts about the emergency
- you have new physical symptoms or old problems seem to have returned (such as breathing, heart or stomach problems).