Anxiety in rangatahi (teens) and young adults
Anxiety is a normal emotion where you might feel worried, unsafe or stressed. These feelings are common, but sometimes they do not go away and can stop you doing things you want or need to do.
About anxiety
Anxiety is a normal emotion which anyone can experience. It is the body’s natural response to stress or things you think are dangerous. It is common to feel anxious at times, and most anxiety settles when you are feeling safe.
Some anxiety can be helpful. It can make you:
- think more about the situation you are in
- give you more focus
- help motivate you to get things done.
Most anxiety settles once the stressful situation is finished. Sometimes the feeling of anxiety:
- does not go away
- is difficult to cope with
- stops you doing everyday things.
If you feel like this often, or it feels overwhelming, you might need some help to manage it.
Causes of anxiety in rangatahi and young adults
Some typical causes of anxiety in rangatahi and young adults include:
- relationships, including bullying or peer pressure
- puberty, gender identity and sexuality
- change, for example changing schools and changing friendships
- increasing pressure from schoolwork, exams and thinking about the future
- alcohol and drug use
- social media and internet content
- expectations of others, including parents, coaches and friends
- expectations we put on ourselves to do well at school or sport, or fit in with our friends.
Often your anxiety changes as you get older and learn that the situations are not as bad as you feared.
Anxiety is more common if you have experienced:
- childhood trauma
- trauma such as physical or sexual abuse
- poverty or lack of social support
- parents or carers who struggle with their own mental health or addiction
- problems with your mental wellbeing
- significant events such as health issues or losing a parent or loved one.
Excessive anxiety is more complicated. You may have excessive anxiety if you keep being anxious even with reassurance. Sometimes you might change your behaviour by avoiding situations to reduce the intensity of your feelings.
Factors that can lead to excessive anxiety include:
- conflict with your parents
- prolonged stress
- grief or loss
- serious health issues
- learning difficulties.
Symptoms of anxiety in rangatahi and young adults
When you get anxious, you might notice changes to how you are feeling, thinking or behaving.
- stomach symptoms such as pain, feeling sick (nausea) or runny poos (diarrhoea)
- headaches
- losing weight or loss of appetite
- not sleeping well
- not being able to relax
- racing heart rate
- breathing quickly or being short of breath
- sweating more than usual
- grinding your teeth
- picking or biting your nails
- shaking.
- unable to be by yourself
- like you cannot cope
- that you are 'not good enough' or that you 'need to do better'
- irritable or angry
- distracted and unable to concentrate
- that you cannot turn your mind off or you have racing thoughts
- tearful or panicky
- worried even when there are no signs of trouble.
- avoiding hard situations including school or social activities
- resistance to authority, such as not listening and not following instructions from teachers, parents or other adults
- seeking constant reassurance or approval
- repetitive behaviours such as hand washing or checking
- not eating as much
- not sleeping well
- unable to be by yourself
- self-harm.
Self care for anxiety in rangatahi and young adults
Looking after yourself is important to staying well and healthy. This might include things such as:
- eating well
- keeping physically active
- getting enough sleep
- having a good routine and structure to your day.
- doing activities that help you relax and have fun
- practising mindfulness or relaxation techniques, such as breathing techniques
- keeping connected to friends and whānau
- having a healthy social media life — set limits, take breaks and think about the content you are viewing.
Treating anxiety in rangatahi and young adults
If you are struggling to manage your anxiety, talk to:
- someone you trust — tell them about what you are experiencing and how you are feeling
- your healthcare provider — they will work with you to help decide what support you need.
Even if your anxiety does not affect you a lot, it may still help to learn:
- what causes you to get anxious
- to recognise the signs you are becoming anxious
- different ways you can manage it.
Anxiety can be treated effectively. Treating it early can reduce its impact on your life.
The type of treatment may depend on:
- the type of anxiety you have
- how it affects your daily life (for example, not wanting to go to school or work, not doing well at school, not wanting to be around your friends)
- how distressed you are.
Different types of treatment include:
- talking therapies
- self-management skills, including mindfulness, self-soothing and grounding activities, such as deep breathing or listening to calming music
- medication.
There are many options for support, including online, app-based and in-person counselling support.
If your anxiety is having a big effect on your life, you might need more support. Your healthcare provider may arrange a referral for specialised assessment and treatment.
Supporting rangatahi and young adults with anxiety
Depending on the age and stage of your rangatahi, they may not know how to explain their problems or how to ask for help. They might also have a limited range of the skills needed for coping with challenges.
If you are a parent or caregiver of a rangatahi or young adult struggling with anxiety you can do a lot to support them.
Talk to your young person to understand why they are anxious. You need to understand what is causing their anxiety, for example:
- specific problems or events, such as bullying at school or earthquakes
- worries about lots of things, such as learning difficulties, long-term health issues, relationship difficulties or stress.
Stay calm, consider how to respond and validate their experiences. Sometimes parents and caregivers can:
- underestimate how much the problems are affecting their young person
- not know what the exact problems are.
Encourage your rangatahi or young adult to talk to their healthcare provider as well. Reassure them that:
- this talk is confidential
- they can go with you or on their own if they prefer.
Young people are still learning the range of skills needed for coping with difficulties as they go through life. They may not know how to explain their problems or how to ask for help.
It is important to understand how your young person behaves when they are anxious, as different behaviours need different responses. Some young people seek constant reassurance, others show avoidance behaviours. You may need to manage your young person's behaviour differently if they are angry, defiant or show difficult behaviours.
If they look for constant reassurance, they may need support to learn new ways to calm and reassure themselves.
If they use drugs or alcohol, you might need to change the approach when supporting them. If you are concerned about your teen or young adult using alcohol or drugs, ask for advice or support from your healthcare provider.
Parenting teens: Alcohol and young people — KidsHealthexternal link
Anxiety in children — KidsHealthexternal link
Anxiety — The Lowdownexternal link
Calm your mind — Small Stepsexternal link